Originally a comment on “Compassion”
“curiosity” inquisitive, desire to know.
I agree with what I think you’re saying if you mean that curiosity of our moods will allow us to become more familiar with our personalities. Personality being the distinctive parts of our character that have been formed by our interpretations, something that began at some point in a space of time. But curiosity to know or become familiar with is only that unless it is coupled with desire, in the hope of taking the action necessary to move forward, or “grow”. A desire strong enough to be truthful with oneself, and the courage to face even death. Death of one’s ego, ideas, and sometime the hopes and wishes we thought so harmless yet defeated us, wounding our significance. But how can we create a “new movie” without the desire and courage to look inside Pandora’s Box and face ourselves, and when we do, it is here compassion plays her part in nurturing. It can be a painful experience in the illumination of our souls, and compassion must be a tool put in the medicine bag of such a journey.
How we love is our significance. Nothing is more significant in the shaping of our very being then the journey in, out and thru love. Like fire it burns away the impurities at such degrees as to change us in shape and character. It takes a life time for this to happen where the motion of fire no longer burns and refines us but cools, taking form with an intended purpose. Like a sword of truth it cuts away the lies and all that is not love, leaving only love. This is my hope, of knowing the truth of love. I have found the bits and pieces thru my life time but I throw them in the fire as I recognize they are only impure parts and pieces. Being loved or loving certain others has a condition to the purpose of refining fire, but this love has not yet become the ultimate unconditional sword of love till love becomes all there is. In the end love will be there as it was before the people we loved and were loved by. Human beings fan this flame of fire, refining our journey towards the ultimate love, that love I choose to call God. It is the purpose of our creation that thru the refinement of loving others, we find God.
When we begin to label our hurts and conflicts, most likely it is the memory of loving someone, or wanting to be loved. But pain does teach us about love. I know now it is way too big to put in a box. The pain and frustration is trying to squeeze love into a form of our choosing, to put away till a time of benefiting ourselves, like there isn’t enough to go around, a limited supply. And yet no matter how we safe guard our love from some imagined pain, we can not choose love from the box when it is entwined with feelings of hate, rage or pain, till we open the box and Jack flies out with that plastic smile and oversized mouth. At which point we begin to scream, till we realize it isn’t real, and then you are grateful, and over time we may even laugh a little at what we threw in the box in our haste to safe guard love. I hope for a love that is without fear. But I’m standing here afraid, yet willing to open the box, have compassion for me when I scream.
The “I don’t care” “No one else does” means for so many of us the opposite, “I care so much.” I want to believe others do to, or I would not care to bring them up. It seems a funny way of asking the question, “do you care,” does anyone care? Somehow as adults, asking for validation seems childish, as if the child in such a person was never validated, and it seems more grown up, or in control to say we just “don’t care”. OK back in control but still lacking validation. I’m not sure anyone can heal that place, unless the adult in us can learn to compassionately validate our child within, perhaps with the words, “you are a child of God”. This works for me when I think upon it, contemplating a fathers perfect love, knowing He knows me entirely and loves me anyway. I care because He cares, perfectly. I will start with that.